Margaret Mary Alacoque had a vision of Jesus in which she learned of the “sacred Heart of Jesus” which was officially recognized by about 75 years after her death.  These are of course Private Revelation which may be accepted or not accepted by the individual.  The last of the public revelations (which we are bound to believe) ends with the Death of john the Evangelist.

Would the Benedictines let me in? Well I guess the most obvious answer would be beer and pretzels… but that would be the obvious one… Since it is a cooler area I would want something substantial, but yet something that would keep. So I look to the traditional German fare and thing nah… too hard… and create homemade fresh noodles and of course can play with the names a bit… maybe Reverend Ravioli, Father Fettuccini, or my favorite Benny’s Butter Noodles. But that is me.

Interestingly there is the Ludwig der Bayer Restaurant in Ettal, Bavaria.  The Ettal Basilica Monastery, Parish, and Pilgrimage Church is the Closter hotel and restaurant.  From here comes the funds that support the monastery as well as the programs that they run.  The reviews look decent… but you can never tell with internet reviews always some 12-year-old who decides he wants to be known for something like giving horrible reviews.

The Benedictine’s were formed in the early 500’s. They have been known for 1500 years for work and prayer as well as spreading the Gospel through their actions. I would imagine their food to be awesome. I am not really a big fan of German food (quie possibly because I have never had the real thing) but I bet they create, serve and love every one of their dishes and make each of their guests feel loved as well.

Well based on the previous answer no not just alright… in fact he is my closest friend. Let’s see the current wording is once again intentional disciple for the Lord.   That works kind of says it all. At least as best as human words can take it. Intentional… well it is on purpose that I am being a disciple. And it is of Jesus Christ that I want to go on learning from and being an adopted son.  Because we are adopted brothers and sisters of Christ… we are therefore sons and daughters of God.  

The love that emanated from God and from Jesus Christ and from the Holy Spirit cannot be described. We use terms such as Son of God which does not mean a child of. God and Jesus are one and the same but we can look see feel and talk to him. He is fully God and fully man. Impossible for us to get our little minds around. But it is only in this way that God and humanity can join together and become one.  We become one by being in Heaven and that is our goal. That is our goal for every other man woman and child in the world.  This is called union with God and community with others. It is simply a big family God, Jesus and his spouse the Church and all of us.  Not a bad sounding end.

So he is much more than just alright… he is all there is, all there has been and all that ever will be. One of the last words of the Bible (in the book of Revelation or Apocalypse (One is Latin for reveal the other is Greek for… well reveal) is I am the Alpha and Omega… The beginning and end of the Greek alphabet (John wrote in Greek btw). In the beginning there was the Word… that word is that which spoke for God as He was god… and He is the end as he will judge the living and the dead.    But unlike the judges we know from here on earth He is the just judge. He is Truth.

There are a number of ways of going about answering this. I think I am going to take a pathway in answering this that is quite outside the lines.

I want to take a look at life in terms of viewpoints. Let’s take a look at each of us being born. What are we at that point? Everything in the entire world (which consists of very little) revolves around us. We are dependent upon everyone and everything else. We are to the extreme possible narcissistic aren’t we?  We don’t have feelings other than a bond between our parents and us… everything I want is food, sleep, and diaper changing, though even that probably mom and dad want that more.

Most of our first few years are in that state. I want, I need, I, I , I…. That is until the one day when you meet someone else your own age. I mean look at a toddlers face when they first realize there is someone else in the world like them… it is a face of confusion. There are these tall people who give me everything and now there is this other thing that is similar to me? Then a sort of realization sets in. This is so cool.. someone else it like me! Same height, same chubby face, We should sit down and talk…hmmm take a memo…

Slowly as time goes on, while the child’s parents will always be #1, they become a ever smaller and smaller part of their child’s life.  Its not huge or dramatic… so maybe now instead of 100%, their parents are now 99.9999%. But as time goes on its 95%, then 90% By the time High school comes around, parents are maybe 50% sometimes less.  Taking up this void is the various relationships that are to be had. Friends, co-workers, deeper relationships.

This is what we are. Human beings are social creatures. We begin as almost anti-social and turn, learn, grow into a social creature. Some might be extroverted, some introverted, others a combination. But we love relationships. But why is this? This is what we are put on earth for. To form relationships. With other people, other creatures. Ever wonder why the drive to find alien life?  It is the drive for relationship. It is the same with God.

Our urge is to have a relationship with God. We come to the realization one day that yes Mom and Dad put the physical process to me, but God “formed me in the womb” and is each of our ultimate creator. He infused the soul, He gave us life.

But having a relationship with God, is certainly not like any of our other relationships. We are used to dealing with man’s fallen nature. So we snipe at our ex-boyfriend/girlfriends.  Tommy over there certainly turned a bit too something for me… How can he call me a friend when he just stole…?  This is what we are used to. This is our nature as well..

We do things and we suddenly realize… aww man… that just isn’t right…. Now of course that might not stop us… but we do realize it. That is called a conscience. But why is it we do these things that we don’t want to do? This is a very basic question which Paul asks in his letter to the Romans. So what is the answer? Why is it that we all want to do good… but when we want to do good we end up doing evil? It is that same answer we have heard, but not really listened to it.  It is sin that has its grip on us. 

What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.

Now if I do what I do not want, I concur that the law [Torah]  is good.

So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh. The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not.

For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want.

Now if [I] do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand.

For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self,

but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.^*

Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body?

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore, I myself, with my mind, serve the law of God but, with my flesh, the law of sin.^m

So that is the explanation used by Paul and the one used for about 4500 years and Even before the time of Israel it was known, we hear it talked about in older cultic religions from throughout the world. The Greek language really works well for this phenomenon. In Greek it is ἁμαρτία hamartia It simply means “missing the mark” Think of a bullseye… you didn’t hit it.. you missed the mark….Kind of a great way to keep things in perspective.  We know we are going to sin but we strive to minimize that sin… get closer and closer to that bullseye.

So it appears that this is the human condition, and it is… the cause, obviously no scientific research can be done on this since it is abstract. But we know it is there. Somehow someway pride avarice, lust, gluttony, envy, sloth and anger are there. I tend to think of the concept of the creation theories is correct… that pride welled up and we rejected the good to get what we thought should be ours. We grabbed at it and we have all suffered since. Something metabolically changed in all of us.

The what happened is not nearly as important as the “something happened” and sin entered into the world.  So there is a reality that is not going to change. We have to recognize the point and meet it head on. This is one of the marvel of Catholicism.  We don’t hold back reality.  Human beings suck at times and we don’t pretend that it doesn’t happen. We acknowledge that when we hurt someone it affects all of the others and when we repent it affects all of the others.  I have heard many speak about sin as just something that happens and it has no effect… they try to sweep it under the rug and pretend it isn’t there… But they forget about the hurt it causes and we see the effects of trying to sweep hurt under the rug… How many billions of dollars are spent on psychiatry to find the root cause it simply an underlying sin that was brushed off and deemed unimportant. They aren’t unimportant in anyway, simply because they are very very personal.

So as Paul mentioned above, our goal is to be good. We strive for goodness. We know that also. We want to do good, we know when we miss the mark and we feel crappy about it. This feeling lasts for most things a second or so… For those real big screw-ups, it will last for years, decades, until they get resolved.  Some can’t be resolved here and those things lay on our conscience unresolved until we bring them to someone for Remission or redemption. In the Catholic world this is confession and is quite honestly the most brilliant thing about Catholicism.   We believe that Christ has already redeemed us for of sins, but we have to acknowledge them in order for remission.  When you have an argument with a friend… doesn’t it always feel so much better when you say I am sorry I screwed up, please forgive me?  That is the purpose… acknowledging to God that we screwed up… we missed the mark… We wanted to do good, but we didn’t. God doesn’t shoot you with lightning bolts, he is like the good father, who says ‘I know you have messed up… it is taken care of… here have a life-saver’

So if our goal is to be good, how do we go about doing that? Something in our life has to guide us, in a general sense.   That appears to be our vocation. Most people today think of this a job… but that isn’t accurate.  I think because of vocational schools in the 50’s the general meaning changed.  But think of a vocation as what way are you working on becoming good.  There have traditionally been 4 vocations that mankind can be called to. Notice called to… it isn’t something you try to do… it is something built in you and you have to discover what that is. It takes time and it takes effort and it takes possibly the most difficult thing, learning about your true self.  Again acknowledging all of the icky bad stuff…. Yet at the same time uncovering some really cool things about yourself too.

Of course it would be helpful to know the four vocations first. They are:

Married – By far the vast majority of people are made for this type of life. Man and women together to bring each other love. Help the other on their journey and bring a proper environment for raising children. Obviously this is very important for the common good of the human race. Without new humans we really are not fulfilling our commandment from God. A child who grows up with both a mother and a father in the same household do best as they continue journeying through life.   This is why discernment prior to marriage is so extremely important. Praying to God asking the right questions. This is a primary good, since it really is in the best interest of everyone involved. God knows what your vocation is and wants you to choose it for the fullness of happiness.

Single –  This is also a valid vocation. There are people that are made for the single life. They can do so much for many others. They have many people in their lives that will help and guide them along their journey and they are given the opportunity to help many people on their own pathways.

Religious – The religious life are the Nuns, brothers, friars in ordered life. These are particularly chosen by God to pray and live in group settings and pray and work for God’s will where they are. There are mendicant orders (begging orders) They live day to day helping out running soup kitchens or hospitals etc. There are orders with strong devotion to various parts of the faith, be it the Eucharist, Heart of Mary, Heart of Jesus etc.  There are teaching orders, there are orders that work in hospitals. As you may remember the Here I am Lord where there are hundreds of religious representing their orders for both information and helping others to discern their individual vocations

Ordained – And there are the ordained. These are the priests, deacons and Bishops.  They are specifically chosen to lead a community. They give their lives up for the good of God.  They offer themselves up for the parish community or in the case of Bishops the entire diocesan group. In the case of Saint Patrick 4500 families have officially joined, however the pastor and priests are responsible for the spiritual lives of each and every resident within their assigned area.  Yes, even those not affiliated. It is a huge responsibility. But each group has its own charisms and each individual has his own focus.  All working in union with the Bishop who is responsible for each person in the diocese, again not just Catholics.  But should anyone need assistance (physically or spiritually) they should receive that help.

Okay so that is a little background. The point of all of this is that we ALL have chosen a religious life.  There is nothing that any of us do, that isn’t religious in nature.  We have an inbred sense to return and be with our creator.  We hurt so much when we lose a mother or a father for this very reason. These are the people who love you, nurture, you and make you who you are.  How much more do we want to be with the ultimate in creator? We all go through various stages. We are dependent upon mother and father.. we feel our oats and rebel against them in our teens. We recognize our faults and come back to them in our early adult years… we recognize that the God our parents and grandparents hopefully taught us about is real and we begin to try to learn more.  Life starts to get busy, job, children, many things get put on the backburner (for many God is included) … Then as things begin to settle down we begin to reflect on the important things…

This is the “normal” cycle of modern life.  Today there are a myriad of distractions that interfere with us reflecting on the important things. But eventually we all will do that. We recognize that we are going to die and what is our point?  In years past the answer was very clear, the answer was taught from day one and was shown day in and day out. But as of late, people are not knowing these basic things.  In our Western culture we are given so very much. We live affluent lives. We have food and clothing available. It appears that mankind is in charge of everything. We delude ourselves into thinking that “I can do it”. This is emphasized in each commercial. it each sporting event, in the workplace etc.

But those first few chapters, of the first of 73 books, in what we call the Bible pretty much tells the story.  God created this world for man and his goodness. He gave them everything they needed. He put minimal restrictions on them which would keep them safe. And the goal is an ongoing relationship of love between each individual man and his Creator.  A relationship with God, is freedom and love. It brings fullness and meaning to our life. This is why each person has a religious “vocation” that is simply as the Baltimore Catechism says that “God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.”   No better answer to the question than that.

Well, okay there has been a recount and my interpretation of Question # 10 of Part Duex has been refined. SO we will attempt again to answer the question

10. What made you choose a religious path in life?

Okay so as it has been explained to me it was more of a personal request as opposed to a theological question (Of which much of what I did answer did impact the actual question. So some of this may be a repeat, but that is good… it is information that you should know.

There are so many individual moments in anyone’s life that to recount them all and their effects would be to say the least tedious. But I realize that there are things in my life that in particular the two of you, have not experienced. People you have not known, and a culture that would be a foreign to you as moving to Siberia.

So bear with me on some of this. Much has to do with people you did not know, or get to know well. Perceptions of individuals who were known for many years who for you were very short A more adult knowledge versus child knowledge.  These people include obviously Dad, all 4 grandparents, numerous brothers and sisters, 2 uncles, a great aunt, probably 2 teachers from high school, and more I will remember along the way.

In addition, there was a culture that is so vastly different from today, a culture that is probably the most oppressive in the history of the world. It is claimed to be freedom, but it isn’t it is a slavery probably worse than any African American (strike that to understand the culture one has to use the proper words) worse than any negro could have dealt with.  Just the word probably sends shivers down your back.  But we had a unique perspective “back in the day” We used words that actually described what we were talking about. Political correctness did not exist. We used the English language, didn’t make things up. 

Then through all of this is the teaching, influences that each of these had

Probably the easiest thing to do is to discuss those things as I remember them and probably through that you will probably get the way I thought about them, and culturally how it was thought of at the time, and you will be able to compare and contrast them within your own culture… for culture is a personal influence on each of us, living in a monastery will have a must different outcome than being in suburban Texas or a ghetto in New York.

One item that is of note that all of my influences grew up in the ghetto.  Now when you think of ghetto, you image the South side or west side poor neighborhoods filled with violence and crime.  That isn’t the ghetto that I speak of. The ghetto back in the turn of the century to 1940’s were the individual parts of the city where a particular group of people lived.  You remember vestiges of it in the Polish neighborhoods along Milwaukee, but it was far more than that.  These ghetto areas were basically a homogeneous mass of people.  German Catholics, Lithuanian Lutherans, Irish Catholics, English Anglicans, etc.    For generations people lived in these ghettos and thrived.   They were born, grew up, married, had their own kids, grew older, and died All going through life with the sacraments close at hand.   Great grandparents Mazurowski went to Saint Barbara’s from the time they arrived in the United States. Their kids went to St. Barbara’s. There was no reason to leave everything you needed was right there. Your job, your church, the stores. If you wanted a little adventure you headed out on the streetcar or bus.   This was life for numerous generations here as well as those who lived in Poland, Germany, England etc.  The world was filled with these ghettos of likeminded, homogeneous groups.  Their main focal point for everything, learning of the world and other issues was the Church.  Your identity was the Parish you went to.  You were identified simply by “I go to … Everyone knew who you were and what you were. And this worked well for hundreds of years, pretty much through the breakdown of the serfdom times of the middle ages.

It sounds so foreign now, and one has to ask how there was ever any advances if everyone was the same and lived together.   Simple in that atmosphere you did have a much better teaching and learning culture. All of the great scientific minds that we can think of came out of that culture. Science was taught and it was taught well, technology was embraced, simply because there was no technology. And it made life easier. Mendel, Einstein, came out of the Ghettos in Europe, so did most of the greatest scientists. But the world we live in now is quite different.

All of a sudden people are now living in the suburbs, no longer homogeneous, but quite the opposite Heterogeneousness is ever where. Where it was forbidden to interact in any way with someone of another religion, the practicality of this became virtually impossible.

Now what is it that changed all of this? The seeds of this had been planted earlier, but the main impetus that changed all of this was World War II.  The services didn’t much care who was this religion or that religion… they wanted people to fight together (yes there was still racial non-integration) but if you were white you fought together.  And they did… and lo and behold they began to talk to each other and get to know each other.  Hell they trusted their lives to everyone else in that platoon, etc.  For this very reason the seeds were being sown for racial integration at the same time., but that would take another 20 years or so.

Once the GI’s came home they no longer wanted to live in the ghetto… they had seen the big cities, they had been cramped up in the foxholes etc… they wanted more room and the GI bill helped them to buy homes, get educated and more They would be able to get a foot up for their kids. And these “kids” are the ones that influenced me the greatest.  They remembered well though the schooling they got and how well it served them. They had seen the effects on kids going to the government run schools.  So the schooling stayed as it had been… same model being transferred to the outlying areas.  Except one thing. Because of the larger areas being covered there began instead of Catholic or Lutheran nuns teaching the need was for lay teachers.  This started to mean tuition.  But it was a small price to pay for the kids

Dad was the beneficiary of this environment even though he was still in the city.  John Miller was the beneficiary off this.  The education system, was excellent. Up to this time no better education system had been put together. (Perhaps still has not) Grandma and Grandpa all were educated in the city ghetto structure and once finished HS went off to work.  In general boys went to school, became altar boys by about age 7 (right after first communion) they progressed through the ranks. They all when to an all- boys school. Dad and Joe went to St. Alphonusus and then DePaul Academy.  Boys started to choose seminary, technical school, college etc. 

The girls were brought up traditionally. They went to an all-girls school, learning how to teach, read, run a household etc. Choosing between High School or Religious life. Mom went to Madonna, and on to working life at a bank Sister Judy Nickels went to the convent and became a nun, eventually ending up in Saint Charles.  Learning how to teach, read, run a household etc. Choosing between High School or Religious life.

Uncle John stayed at Saint Rita’s to eventually become ordained. Dorothy joined the School Sisters of Notre Dame.  Dad was a product of this ghetto religious school system. Uncle Joe was a product of this system.   Mom was part of the new system being cobbled together out in the suburbs.

Overall the culture was traditional.  Man and woman got together preferable due to mutual attraction, though still not necessary completely). The expectation at the time was marriage by the time one was in their early 20’s. Women began getting education for office work allowing for advances in technology. The jobs that were available for hire were changing, moving slowly to the “white collar” jobs which were much more lucrative and much less taxing on the human body.

The reason I go into depth about the time and the culture for the generation before me, is that these are the people who were to influence me and guide me. Great examples to follow, and it was pretty obvious who it was you wanted to follow/ learn from. you felt it. This was the expectation you had from the ghetto schooling.  You wanted the next generation to know more, move the ball farther. It was for the common good that you taught everywhere what was right and shunned that which was bad. And there was an objective right and wrong. There still is it is just not focused on. It is ignored. But that is another generation.

There are a number of things that come with religious life. First you have to know it exists.  You have to be accepting that it exists, and it must be placed in a priority. I have always been a religiously based person. It has always been there; however, it was not placed in priority. In each of our hearts there is a pull towards the transcendent… towards God. I remember many times that the transcendent came busting through directly into my world.  I closed my eyes.  I sat in the pew at St. Patrick’s asking what about the priesthood… good question, but the ears were closed to the answer.  We are all predisposed to talking with and having a relationship with God… this should be as close as a Father has talks and discussions with his son or daughter.  I loved the conversations that I had with Dad. The myriad of things he could talk about and had learned amazed me.  Unfortunately, though you can’t relate to that. If I say to you that God loves you like a Father, it falls completely flat… because you simply have not lived with a father. The reality is he died before you could have those conversations.  You had father-figures, perhaps me, perhaps other fathers… but not John J. Stowell.  So when the three of us hear “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit” there is a vast dichotomy between what I hear and comprehend and what you do.

So it is with Dad that start. As mentioned above he was born into the Northside Polish catholic ghetto.  Northside version. Going to St. Alphonsus. Keep in mind all that is written here is perceptions.  Are they an accurate depiction of the full man, woman or child? No we keep much closed off to others and many things from your own kids.  But the main thing I remember about Dad was his deep faith.  One item that made a very strong change in me was his love for the Bible. Did he read it all the time, no (not that I am aware of at least) However, when going through my teenage years and mocking this or that He came down on me very hard. For him (as it rightly should be) the Bible was the word of God and not something to be made fun of.  Lesson learned and stuck. There was something more to this book than a bunch of words and stories. This was about when I was 16 and things started to fall into place. I was beginning to get an understanding about my father.  He was an altar boy at St. Alphonsus. This means a vastly different thing than an altar server that we grew up with.  This was pretty much step one on the pathway of becoming a priest.  And it really was a type of formation.  One learned about the Mass and what it meant. You memorized the various parts (in Latin).  This was the summit of all existence. You were right there as the bread and wine was changed physically into the body and blood of Christ.  For those who served as an Altar Boy it was at that time step one in the seminary if you will. You learned and you learned very well.   By the time you were older, you had a very good education about the Church and you had pretty much established what vocation you had in life.  It is still a very powerful and insightful vocational training ground. Because you are so close and are responsible for so much.

This carried on throughout his life, these values, the values of his mother and father, trickled down. I hear in my mind, our grandfather, “Jack” saying Do the right thing… at the … while being chorused by his father and his grandfather, at the right time, because it is the right thing to do.  Yes, perhaps this is his (and all the others) epitaph to us. A call to righteousness. As I get older, I think it is that call. The call put into him by all of his teachers, all of his experiences all of his time.  Righteousness.  While all of the other great things about Dad are still there, as I am now older and understand much more, this call to righteousness is one large reason I headed the way that I have.  One can never separate the impact that one’s parents have on you.  We perceive things that are parents do, perhaps unfairly or heap too much praise on them. But they (assuming both stick around) have gifts which they pass on… A parent’s job is very very simple… Raising kids is not simple… dealing with the culture they grow up in is not simple…. But their ultimate job as parents is not either of those…. It is to get their children into heaven.   They have to show the way of righteousness.

Now this brings up the point of teachers. I had a set of teachers some very good… some perhaps filling a role they had to fill. High school is obviously an impressionable age. John Miller was an English Literature teacher. He was a product of that same ghetto upbringing.  I know very little of his life… other than he taught at HEHS in 1982-1983 school year. Okay so what is this about?  Well first he was an excellent teacher. My love of English Literature was nurtured by him.  But you may ask how I know he was a product of the Catholic ghetto? Simple… he did something that would be absolutely unheard of now. We were talking about word origins and their meaning. And he brought up two things that have stuck with me now close to 40 years later. One of the words he put up on the blackboard (yea it was that long ago) was Amen.   We talked about the word and that it is a promise of a promise. “So be it” or “It is true” Even back then it was few and far between when we heard something religious…. But then he followed up with it another important lesson… We must learn that the Latin mass had in it the words Dominium Vobiscum (The Lord be with you) … and the response is Et cum spiritu tuo (and with your spirit) … so we also learned that day the etCum Spiri 220 was also God’s phone number…. Okay a silly joke which probably doesn’t stand up too well since the Latin Mass is not known as well now… but it stuck with me… that you could bring your faith life into the “real” world.    I look back after 40 years and I know he is a product of the Catholic ghetto in Chicago… He was probably an altar server also… but at the time… I loved the whole fact that here was someone I could relate to as a Catholic.  He loved his Catholicism enough to share it with his students… not in a preaching way, but obviously if he talked to us about these things, they were important to him. Looking back, I recognize now that God, Catholicism, faith has always been a part of me.  I have always had a part of me being happiest and at peace when I am/was at Church.

It is an amazing thing as I look back on my life. Church / God/ Catholicism has always been at the heart of my life. Some of the earliest memories I have are with Both grandma and grandpa Mays. Neither of you knew grandpa, you both remember grandma, but even with that you were young when she died. There were two people that loved their relationship with Jesus. They were taught back in the early 1900’s at Catholic schools.  They may not have had the formal schooling that you and I had, Math, science, etc. etc. but at the time that really was not very important. You generally finished 8^th grade and then you went to work in the factory. School was a place to learn the basics of life. How to read, how to write and basic things that you were going to need to live.   One of those was, and still is life within the church.

The Church was the central hub of life in those days. Things were going well you celebrated at Church and gave of your excesses. Things were going bad, you came to church and received of a neighbors excess.   Birthdates, name dates, all kinds of celebrations. Social programs all were through the church. Needed food, water, clothing, repairs to the house, etcetera you went to the Church.  It was this way for close to 2000 years.  Now neither one of the families they grew up in would be considered rich, but they were not hurting.  As you probably remember their fathers died in their 20’s leaving them fatherless and a widow for a mother. How in the world could this work… each of the families had 7 kids, no father that could work and no federally funded governmental programs?

Forward the clock to 2010 or so… I became a Knight of Columbus, because of the charity work, the solidarity etc.  But one of the things I found out was why the Knights of Columbus was started. Back in 1878 Father Michael McGivney began the Knights because he saw too many families, where the father died young and the family was just left on their own.  This was on the east coast in the coal areas where we know today the problems with coal mining, but then Black Lung disease (and other accompanying diseases) was not known. The fathers were just dying young and the families were suffering.   We he thought of a way to protect the families. The father could join the order of Knights and put a small portion of their earnings, and should something happen to him, this plan would pay out a lump sum.  In effect what we know as Life insurance today.   So in Chicago there was the Polish Union which based upon this model. I can be relatively sure that both the Mazurowski and the Szura families had this protection. Both side of the families owned outright their homes before the 1930 census which on the wages that were being paid at the time, would have been unheard of.

So none of them were hurting financially, but they got on with their lives, did what they had to do, learned what they learned, but at all times stayed close to God.  I was able to live part of that life out with them. Numerous times I stayed over at Grandma and grandpa Mays’ house when I was younger. There was no discussion about what I was going to do on Sunday morning. I am sure I whined but I went and it was wonderful. But looking back I see that they put everything that the church taught into their daily lives. How she made sandwiches, how He worked so hard. When there were major issues in the family (and there were a few I remember well) They applied all that they learned to the particular situation. They were Christ to those they met.  They weren’t perfect… they had their issues… but it’s evident to me just how much they believed and how much faith they had.  Whether it be Mike’s divorce, David’s death issues with Mom and Dad. They reacted (externally at least) with Hope and love of Jesus.  They comforted me at times when I needed it. I certainly was not part of the conversations, but the love they have for Mom and the love in which they tried to help.  They never had to face the specific issues of the 1970’s and 80’s in any previous times… but they were able to take the lessons they learned and apply them.  This is how I remember them and how they influenced me greatly.  The times the 3 of us had at that back room table, at the pew at Saints Peter and Paul. The stain glass, the sanctuary the love that was always there. (Not to mention the sacraments served there such as Mom’s first communion, confirmation, marriage, confession, my baptism)

Marriage is so very different than what I thought when I first got married. But I think that is true of all married couples. One starts out imagining peace, wonder and all of the amazing things that we will do together. That is the way our culture brings us to think about marriage. That is why unfortunately today anything goes. But the reality of it is that no things don’t go smoothly, things are not always rosy. But it is the greatest thing I could do.  My wife and I work together to bring what God wants us to bring into the world. We did not have children, but after discernment and struggle together we found a pathway in which the two of us could work our way through life answering God’s call.

When we got married I was worried about things that didn’t really need to be worried about. I knew in my gut that whoever I was going to marry, she was going to need to be Catholic. I had seen far too many people not bring faith (no matter how primitively thought of) into the relationship and when it does get brought up, there is the clash of titans.  I had my own thoughts prejudices, etc. going in. I had it in my mind that the “old” mass was better so I wanted as much as possible in Latin.  That made things the old mass for me… I had no clue.  At the time I blamed Vatican II for us not going to Church that much and all sorts of other things.  At the time I would not have expressed it that way… but this is a reflection of sorts. Now what I wanted in reality was beautiful music at “my” wedding. You just cannot help yourself when you are first getting married… no matter how much it is said. the “we” doesn’t come to reality until later. There is a big difference between “me and her” and “we” Thankfully both Thea and I had seen conflict in marriage and that at the end of the day love for the other wins out. Strangely it is at times through conflict that love grows closer.

So our wedding was a magical time in my life. And really the first time I learned much of anything about our Catholic religion. Sitting down with Father Oldershaw and Father Bart Winters was another time of learning.  I realize that at each time of crisis in my life there was a priest there. When grandpa died, grandma Stowell The priests were there tending to what needed to be taken care f. Even our cousin… this was a sad time, but there was a joy about him. When dad died, there was Father Sakowicz.  I learned something each time I had any direct contact with a priest.  I remember being in the hospital room with dad after he died and tried in my own spiritually childlike way asking God to forgive him all of his sins and take him into your hands.  It was something I felt should be done.  It was sort of an entry point into being head man of the family… you do what you do to help and to serve.

The nice thing was being exposed to church life in some small ways. Our pre Cana retreat, ironically n Rockford… was very informative. Thea and I were looking at life from a good outlook. We knew life wasn’t going to be perfect, we had learned that over our lives. But together it would be so much better. I cannot imagine going through some of this stuff without her… It would be impossible and probably I would have never given it a try without her.  Unfortunately, marriage has taken a backseat in today’s culture. It is sad to see… But we, as a culture, let it get away…. But back to it… the various calls that I have received throughout my life to be with the church and with God came through the sacraments. We may not have always done it “by the book” but the grace that came from those sacraments gave us both so much to work with.

Jesus manifestation in my life.

One day I was sitting in Church during Mass and praying. In those days during the intentions I went through my litany of people I prayed for. Generally, it was Thea, mom, Jeff, Cindy, Dad, Joe, Grandparents Mays, grandparents Stowell. I sometimes remembered David sometime not… depending on the experience of the week others may have popped in too… but generally this was, and to a great extent still is the basis for my current prayer. Well on this one particular day as I was praying I thought about grandma and grandpa a bit more than usual. There had been an announcement on Adult confirmation.  The realization of how happy my grandmother (in particular) would be for me getting confirmed.  This was pretty much my spiritual high point at this time of my life.  I knew, what I had already known and knew I should confirm that knowledge that this was the truth and it made sense to do something about it. (I had been drawn y that announcement for a couple of times earlier. but didn’t act on it). I could sit for the rest of my life vacillating and or give excuses, but it was a time for action. I signed up, went to classes, asked Thea to sponsor me.  The beauty of that day for me was outside of anything I had felt.  They say the Holy Spirit opens up all its gifts for you at Confirmation.  Great gifts of wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and wonderment of the Lord. It was like a flood upon me that set me a bit straighter. And opened my heart to listen more to god and allow the spirit to direct me a bit more.  The bigger thing was the desire to learn was enkindled.

Day at Mundelein

One thing that I have learned when dealing with the Creator of the entire universe. humility had better be in your package of thoughts.  You just can’t be smarter that the omniscient, more powerful than the omnipotent so just when you think you have it all in hand a dose of humility must be given to one.  I had read a number of books. I had listened to mother Angelica, I heard the sermons and homilies, I should think about formal training. I mean sure I had gone to a few Bible studies and learned about the bible. So one day there was a Conference over at Mundelein Seminary. It was about relating the Bible and the Mass. One of the big draws was that it was being held by Scott Hah, who I hold in high esteem. I had read his books and found them insightful but also down to earth.

It was a beautiful spring day and oh the mass and subsequent Liturgy of the hours was so beautiful. To hear a mass done in Gregorian chant followed by the Prayers of the church done again in Gregorian chant is just an amazing thing to hear.  I guess at this point it was transforming to me that English could be a beautiful language in which to hear the Mass. It was one of the few times I have heard the Mass done as it was meant to be. The entire congregation actively participating in the most Holy Mass. I learned a bit about singing from the director (which was his specialty) and I have tried to apply those things as best as I can.

Then we walked over to the lecture hall… walking into the seminary hall was wonderful. I was to learn quite a number of things that day. One of which was I had a long way to go before I could think about going to classes like this. And also while there are quite a number of brilliant scholars in the church, there are also quite a few nutcases… oops I mean interesting personae.  There was a great talk on how the architecture of the church developed over the years, as well as lectures on how the mass was set-up. The functions and mysteries that are playing out throughout the mass.  These were all very interesting and I could follow some of it. Some of the deeper aspects were new and hadn’t run across before. Then a nice lady began to talk about the letter to the Hebrews. Now this is what I came for… Study about actual books of the Bible. I could really get into this. I had a pretty good understanding of Scriptures after all….  Well just a few seconds after she said hello, I had the stunning recognition that I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. She could have been speaking Portuguese.  “Pros Hebrios, the mystogogy of the resurrection…  And all around me the younger priests, nuns, and others listening intently, understanding this stuff.  As I said before God wants us to be humble and sometimes he has to show us in our faces.  I knew very quickly that I needed to learn an awful lot before I could ever think about a class like this again.

Ministry formation/ Diaconate

I had during this period gone to my Cursillo weekend and that really set me on fire for wanting to learn more, there was a small faith group that got together in Virgil. Father Perfecto led the group and his calmness and patience really stuck with me. Again another interaction with a priest that has made a big influence on me. About 6 months later I read an interesting item in the bulletin. Something about a ministry formation program.  Reading through the announcement, it seemed to be an opportunity to learn things about the Church, the bible.   I went to the orientation meeting and it sounded really good learning about various things about the Church and everything surrounded with it.  At that point I could not in any way shape or form described it to anyone (I know because someone asked and I actually couldn’t explain it. I babbled but couldn’t explain it)

Ministry formation is just what it says. If forms you, almost a molding process, giving all of the pertinent information to run a ministry in the Church. There is the Biblical part. The teaching part, the dogmas and doctrine. There is the human part, dealing with others…. But probably the most important part was the human part… of understanding yourself.   Now this part of it scares guys…and rightly so. it is tough to look at yourself and recognize what a “shlub” you really are.   Girls have an easier time with this, I think because they do it all the time.  I began with the idea that I would hate this… and that probably affected the outcome, but still I recognized that hmm looking at myself… the real self was not that horrible. I had lots of flaws more so than anyone might ever realize but recognizing them I could address them and work on them.  Overall there were many good things too… I think this is the same for all of us… deep down there are some real ugly spots there, but there are some very beautiful ones too… the rest are generally plain and ordinary.   Now I say this is important, because honestly most people do not ever get to this step, they accept themselves for who they are and feel there is either no way to or no reason to change.  But in going through these steps we recognize those things that may irritate others or hold ourselves back. So we work hard to change somethings.  Personality traits, you just live with, but learned behaviors can be changed.

All of this, plus past events, my constant love of God began forming something a bit new.  A new creation if you will. Even though God was truly at the center of my heart, for many years I was a product of my culture. Thinking I am a man of God knowing so much. I can be more productive on a Sunday morning by doing things shopping or whatever.  By this I am not talking of the days of drinking or even running around America Online until 2 in the morning.   But it all played into it. Focus on the self… don’t worry about the other and what you do to them.  But the conformation, the classes, the self-realization all played a part in hatching this quote new me, unquote. But the reality is this is the real me.  This is the me that God created in Mom’s womb a product of the love of mom and dad with the overriding love of God the Father.

So now I am 18 months away (God willing) from ordination.  Whatever ills I may have committed, whatever problems I may have cause, whatever love I may have ignored, I can do nothing about. I can reflect and repent. I recognize that God has always been at the center of my life. I learn all sorts of facts and Various forms of discipline. I have learned experience of Me. a 51-year-old married man raised by two parents living in the suburbs of Chicago. Any one of those things change, there is a complete different me. However, at the core there is still the great love of God and my love of Him allows me to follow the pathway that he offers me. I will learn more. I will teach more. I will answer questions I will ask more questions than I answer I hope.  I will pass on the extremely great news of Jesus Christ. Who died for our sins and conquered death and rose from the dead.  The pathway to Heaven is open for all people. There is no greater love than what we are told and what we are taught in the life, death and resurrection of Christ Jesus. This is what we are here for. To learn, to love, and to enjoy every friggin moment of time. And I am far from perfect in that… but I am trying… I am working on it. 

I have to stop here because we are at the present. What will happen in 2 minutes…? I cannot answer. All of what I wrote could mean nothing in the face of new commitments or opportunities.   Thomas Aquinas spent a good portion of his life writing the Summa Theological answering questions about God and life etcetera. It is an impressive product of many years of work. And when he had finished his master work… he said, it is like a bag of straw compared with God’s love.  God works with everyone, where they are at and with what they can handle.  My first answer to this question was a dodge since I wasn’t sure if you wanted what is above. Apparently you did. So I submit my bag of straw to you.  I take much from the “old” world. Of Chicago Ghettos and Suburban tranquility.  I have learned much from two Chicago natives who joined together to form our family. They loved each other., They loved God and we are the result. Before them were other Chicagoans, Bostonians, Polish natives.  Sprinkled in there were all sorts of people, experiences. All coming together to form each of us. We are all individuals within the image and likeness of God. But yet I do go back to my original answer in saying we are all meant to be religious in loving God. We are a set of experiences and relationships which our final focus should be Heaven.  God made us to be with him now and forever. Above is what I feel to be the relevant portions of my life. Though there are millions more.  It is an amazing array of details which make up this individual you see, perceive and hopefully love.